The BackBench Effect

We all know the difference between the people who always sit in the front benches in classes and people who all sit at the back benches. There is a humorous term called "The BackBenchers Effect" which is characterized by drooping eyelids,physical presence by mental absence, reading novels hidden within larger books,proxy,talking incessantly and making fun of the professor to name a few.
I myself have been a front bencher all my life and I never imagined what being a backbencher would be like. Had I known before how good it would be, I would have started earlier. This is what I think about being a backbencher...

Prologue:
So am in my final year at the university, I have managed to secure a job and my marks are good enough. It so happens that all the subjects that we have to attend in the final semester are very mundane and if not so are made so by the very talented dumb professor who think the best way to teach is to dictate. This combined with my desire to do as I please in class (desires included reading novels or books that are more interesting that the prof talk, talking and playing silent games) made me move from my usual front seat to the ones at the back.

Experience:
I am a person who always takes everything with a grain of salt and I didn't think the "backbench atmosphere" would be conducive to me. However I decided the take the lesser of the 2 evils and sat back.
The class soon began to fill and the front benchers gave me a curious eye asking " What are you doing back there?" I just smiled. I just realized that from my vantage point i could see everything that went on in the class, people exchanging notes, people msgs on mobiles, people sleeping, people talking etc was all in front of my eyes. Had I been sitting in the front bench I would never had seen all that.
I was also shielded from the view of the prof and could do as I want which was the entire point anyway. Also the prof deplorable speech couldn't be heard because of all the talking going on around me. This suited my fine and I immersed myself in learning stuff that I was interested in. The only thing that I had to take care was to be awake when the rollcall was done. lol. But that too wasn't a problem because the friendly people near me would nudge me if I slept off :)

Another thing that struck me was the Bohemian attitude of the people. The phrase " All iz Well" seemed to be the mantra. People were really laid back about taking notes, listening to the professor for his/her experience, taking down homework, assignments etc, shouting for class to end as soon as the seconds hand went overtime,
discussing new techniques in coding or exchanging ideas on great topic, in short these people were not what I once imagined them to be like.

I rather enjoyed my experience as a backbencher and I think we can say that I too am afflicted with it now. Every class that I think I can bunk is now attended but now sitting at the back benchers.

I didnt think I would say this but "BACKBENCHERS RULE!!!"

What it is to be Sick

I have been very sick for the past 8 days. ( Missed a week of college and 4 French classes and a French exam too :( )
I was bed-ridden for the good part of those 8 days and got really bored. So what did I do?

1)Read 2 books which I had brought ages ago and haven't had the time to read(nowadays am more on the net than otherwise). They didn't turn out to be that good a read but hey, when you have 14 hrs of nothing else to do, even the remotest possibility of enjoyment seems good enough.

2) I slept, slept and slept some more. The doc advised complete bed rest and so I made full use of that. You don't pass the chance to get some sleep EVER. And now that I am in final year engineering and would start working soon..I figured I might as well enjoy as much as I can before the drag life begins again ( You know... NO summer holidays for employees :( sniff sniff )

3) Saw a lot of TV. Once I started to get better, I didn't want to come on-line much but wanted to see lots of movies on TV. I either watch movies or discovery channel on it. But right now I have this craze of seeing loads of movies on it. Man.. I missed so much[:(]

4) Forgot about my mobile. Normally I keep it close to me. I am not a mob junky but I like to reply to msgs when they come. But when I was sick and for a good part after I recovered, I didn't really bother with my mobile. It was a big relief and I felt good that I didn't have it with me all the time. Well.. thats a revelation.. I thought I would miss it. But i didn't... hmm weird.

5) Spend time with family. Normally, I am holed up in my room on the computer chatting, working, surfing, playing etc. Me and my family never get around to playing cards now as much as we used to. But during my sickness we used to play cards too :) Much fun. I actually managed to win 500 bucks in the deal too. lol.

My nose is still running and my ears are still blocked so can't hear very well. I blow my ears as much as I can and get giddy all the time.. lol. Take meds, take more meds, take home therapy meds, etc... my body is full of chemicals , well... more than it is normally.

Not one of my friends msged me and asked " Whats up y didnt u come to college" or "hey how are you". Quite sad.. but whatever, I am used to it by now.

All in all it was a long sickness, I missed a lot of my regular life and need to catch up with the world out large that didn't wait for me.So till laterz....

The Devil's Banker-Christopher Reich

So I have been a victim of a virus( not the computer one. A real one) for the last 5 days and have been bed-ridden most of the time.(Still am btw) So what did I do?
I took up one of the 4 books I had purchased long ago and started reading it. It was this book called "The Devil's Banker" by a guy named Christopher Reich. I have never heard of this guy before. I just brought his book because it was on sale and I liked the title.

It turned out to be a decent book. Its not a page turner, hard-to-keep-down kinda book. But neither is it a book that you will get bored reading mid-way through. It deals with the familiar concept of terrorists attack and a group of people running against time to discover the plot and the place for the attack.

But this one is a bit different in some cases. It puts more emphasis on illustrating the way the terrorists get funded, the scale of their funds and what tricks, tactics and techniques they use to get hold off money. This aspect was one strong point that really made me want to read it.

"Always follow the money. It never lies" was the mantra for the leader of the counter terrorists squad.

All in all it was a ok-ok book. Something I wouldn't mind not having read but now that I have read it , I would try to erase it from my mind.

Old Face of india- Where is the Dignity?

I am writing this post because I want to share something that really pains me to see everyday. On the walk from the bus stop to my home I see several old ladies sitting on the sidewalks begging or eating left over food given to them.
And I wearing expensive stuff and enough money in my wallet to feed them for several days walking by without even glancing at them.
I do not glance at them not because I don't care for them but because the mere sight of them really pains me a lot.

Once for 3-4 days I even gave small change to one lady who used to beg there and I could see the happiness that lit her face when I used to walk by because she knew me. It made me happy too to help her in my own small way. Then one day she wasnt there and I was wondering what happened to her. And till now I always think of her when I pass by the spot where she used to sit.

But it does bring out the question of whether India really cares about its older generations.

The stories and incidents of children leaving their parents in old age homes,living separately or just chucking them out of their own residence are on the rise all the time. Is that the India that we were taught about?
Indians have always been proud of being a "family-oriented" country where family ties still hold effect even now there is a natural tendency to keep the family together at all cost.

Then why is it that we see so many elderly people begging and at others mercy for survival? Where is the dignity that used to be the prerogative of the elders in our society? Do not they deserve the same respect and dignity that our elders have?

Just because their family has forsaken them or they don't have families, isn't it our duty and their right to see to their well-being?

To know how a country is, people look at how the young generations treat their younger and older generations. Is this the image that India wants to project?

We have billions to spend on the national defense budgets but none to spend on the well being on old people on streets? We have billions to spend on Olympic athletes and none to spend on poor? We have billions to spend on Metro Rail and none for this cause?
There are several NGO's working in India for this cause as well as many individuals doing yeomen service.

But is that all? do our efforts extend just to that? What about the rest of us? There are 2 billion people in India. Why should our efforts be limited to just a few people?
If we are willing to adopt orphans why cannot we adopt these elders?
We have to remember that they were once like us and we would be one day like them too. Is that the kind of life we envision for ourself?

At that stage of life we usually live for the small joys of life. We have already spend our life and done what all we could. Why cant we give simple pleasures to them?
Cant we spend some time with them talking?
Cant we spend some money to get them things they always wanted?
Cant we give them the joys only a family life can give?
Cant we banish their isolation just by being with them?
Cant we give them something to look forward to the next day when they go to sleep?
Cant we give them a dignified end to life?
Cant we be more Indian that we are?

I always have and always will say " Treat others and you want to be treated".
Don't loose the old face of India...They are what made India as it is Today. They have given us a dignified life and a country to be proud of. So why cant we give them a dignified life in return?

The Year That Was- And That Will Be

It has been a bad week for me-Healthwise.
First a not so good Regular Report. Then a tremendously bad dry eye and then the insurmountable task of reducing 3 kg in 2 weeks. With the holiday season on,I dont think its fair to ask that :(

But its been a great week otherwise. Why?
1) Because my Fruit Cake was a big success ( I brought, washed, chopped, cooked and baked the cake all alone)
2) My French carols were great
3) By getting 9.5 gpa :)

On a more serious note and on a more related topic to the title of this Post I want to share my thoughts on the year that was and what might be.

This year has been eventful for me.
Right from people leaving my life, to new people joining in
From breaking old ties and making new ones
From forgetting bad memories to still holding onto cherished ones
Fighting with people to making up
Laughing with friends to crying alone
Understanding a mystery of life to getting stumped by the most mundane questions
From hating college to hating holidays even more
From being as lethargic as a sloth to being as busy as a bee
From week long voyages to weeks holed up to study
From talking to one person for hours to waiting for a call for days

And I could go on and on.

En bref, It has been a good year (relatively)
It was also an year of poems.. and those who know me would know thats not a good thing. It was an year sans CHOCOLATE. I miss it and all things and people related to it very much. It was an year of failed employments opportunities and a year in which you really started thinking for the future.

The Year That Is To Come
I cannot but surmise what the new year would bring. Sorrow, Joy, Sadness, Happiness. Those are all passing things. You cannot have one until you have known the other. What I am really interested in is what events will make those feelings come into my Life.
As detached as I want to be from this materialistic world, It is but a mortal attribute to predict, prophesize, speculate and surmise.
Which company would I join?
Where will I work?
Will I like the work?
Will I go abroad?
Will I reconcile with my old acquaintances?
Will I eat chocolate again?
Would I have learnt how to play violin?
Would I speak good French?

There are so many questions that I would give anything to have answered right now. But as Count of Monte Cristo said "Life is but .... Hope and Wait"

Unload the Load-Forgive

This is my first personal blog and its not meant to be read by the Uninitiated People. So if you belong to that category please move on to the next one. Thank say. having said that....

The anger, hurt and pain that you have are like sandbags on your shoulders. Forgive everything, drop those bags and feel lighter and happier"



Since my initiation into this world, I have been destined to live a different life, in more ways than one. I never did have a normal life and the normal problems. I was always burdened with problems that few people face in life and that was beyond my understanding. And it all still continues

Through this I have become what I am today but it had taken its toll on me. I have become frustrated, depressed and angry a lot and hold grudges that have ruined many a good relations. I have loved solitude, calm, and generally loved to be by myself.

And lately, it seems like I am fighting the entire world. Expectations are the worst relationship breakers. You expect someone to do this and when they don't you get angry and sad and sulk. It took me this long, a lot of broken relationships, broken friendships, lots of crying and and some more crying, heart aches, depressions, writing poems, sleepless nights, constant thinkings and all the stuff that comes with it all...

But at last after a torturous path, I arrived at a bend in the road and I realized that I just cannot go ahead with all this weight on me. I wana be free of my shackles and start a new road in a new way.

I wana leave my past behind and I want to fix the past and move on into the future.
And the best way to fix is to FORGIVE. As the quote and picture aptly says... forgiveness too is a selfish thing. So to achieve my selfish ends I have 3 sentences to say to all.







I FORGIVE YOU


So that all being said, I want to make a few things clear, forgiving doesnt mean you go back to what you were before, but moving on as the person you are now.

I have changed over time and that process will continue. Some things leave permanent marks on you and you cannot erase them. Apart from that, I am removed all enmities I had with everyone that is related to my past.

I may have been a fool in the past, but I am much wiser ( a wise fool). I cannot say I wont make mistakes again, but atleast I am better prepared than before.

BBye for now.

The Generation S

The Age of Generation X is over. We can now say with 100% surety what the value of the unknown variable X is. And that is Screaming.

Yes, the age of the The Generation S has come. In this generation, the youth have opened up and are shouting from the top of the buildings, at the top of their voices only one thing " I AM HERE. SEE ME."

In this age of communication and technology, its a matter of a few clicks to present your idea to a large number of people. And everything they do is done in a loud way. Even the music they like is loud, even the games they play are loud, even the weapons they use are loud. Everything about them, done by them and for them is made to be as loud, visible and conspicuous as possible.



The Top Social Sites like Facebook, MySpace, Tagged, Interpals are examples for this. With just a few clicks you can send a message about the most mundane, frivolous, mundane and dumb thing to millions of people and show off your talents, achievements and what not.

The well known site Twitters is too a good example. I do not deny that it is used for good purposes too, but the posts like " I am in NY.Eating a Hotdog" do not help in anyway to anyone.

In this age, we have a lot of talker, screamers and blabber-ers and very few listeners. I am not against talking out but CAMPAIGNING for yourself using technology as a mean was never meant to be. Much more good would be done if people do useful work and let their work speak for them. Rather than say " I am a supporter of Climate Change" and put it on your resume, why don't people people actually do something to help the climate for a change?

Whats more, even the preference of today's youth is all about screaming.
Take the Music: Rock, Metal, Heavy Metal, Pop.... every song is accompanied by ear-splitting so called noise that is now called Music.. What happened to Indian Classical, Oldies, and Country Music?
Take Games: Games filled with violence, gore and lots of high-definition screams, cries and noises are the way to enjoy.
Take Clothes: They are silent shouters( sorry for the oxymoron). They never make a noise but they still make people take notice of you, stare at you and look at you with a quizzical eye. Weird Slogans, Ripped clothes, mismatched clothes, gaudy clothes are all shouting for attention. What happened to the good old sense of dressing where a person's attire used to speak(and not shout) about the person?

In earlier days, we used to say " If he/she is good at shouting, make him/her a politician". Is it that we all are now a self-campaigning Politician?



Where have the more silent things in life gone? Where is the time when people were happy with doing their own work and living their life in peace and quiet. The loudest noise they ever heard was the crying of a baby.

Where is the time when people used to sit around and discuss matter and LISTEN to each others idea rather than professing their own ideas?

Where is the time when music was supposed to be Nectar for our ears and did not involve a deafness later on.

Where is the time when games were fun to play and pleasing too, rather than been given a doze of blood, gore and horrific cries all the time?

Is it that all this has disappeared? Or is it that they cannot be heard over all the SHOUTS OF THIS GENERATION?



Slow down, take a break from shouting, drink a glass of water, and for a while, try to be a listener rather than a Shouter.