Poem Collection 2020

 

Zugzwang - Step Back to Step Forward

Be the best in whatever you do. Strive for perfection. Do well in all spheres of interest. Give your 100%. Be a multitasker......

These are all general advice we hear from our friends, families and well-wishers. So much so, that we grow up believing that that is the ideal way we need to live our lives. 

If life was a music track, following this mantra would be equal to "All sliders at MAX !!" (Sorry if I got the terminology wrong, but I hope you get the meaning"). Doing so would only induce a cacophony of notes which make no sense and in fact frustrate us rather than please us. 

This is what we essentially end up doing by trying to achieve success in all spheres all the time. Little do we realise that in order to promote a note, others need to be mellowed, allowing the one note to shine. 

People may argue that multi-taskers should be able to juggle their various pursuits together. If they are not able to, then they are not capable enough. But I argue that in order to achieve success at one point in one sphere, other spheres need to step back for some time. In the same way, in another point of time, another note would shine while the previous high would mellow down.

This balance between the notes, the highs and the lows, the success and the failure, the professional and the personal, the needs and the wants is what creates the beautiful symphony of life. People with sliders at MAX would be noticed by all, but may not leave the best impression or a lasting one at that. 

In chess, we have a similar saying, a scenario called Zugzwang. It means when you see no way forward you need to step back and weaken your position so that the play can go on. It is similar to saying that in a maze, though the dead-end you face is the closest to the goal, you will need to turn back from success so that you can find the right path to the centre. 

I think we all can use a good stepping back, lift our foot from the pedal for a moment and enjoy the vistas in a more leisurely manner. We will all reach the end eventually, but how many of us would step back on the path before moving forward?

As always, I have more questions than answers, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Kuch Wakt Chahiye

Ajeeb sa rishta hain
Is zindagi ke saath
Haseen si daud hain
Kab nikal jati hain
Bin aahat bin awaaz
Par kuch wakt chahiye
Samajne ko

Is daud main girte hain
hum kai baar,
uthte hain hum har baar
Par kuch wakt chahiye
Sambhalne ko

Dikhati hain yeh hame
Dher saari khushiyaan
Aur gum se bhari duniya
Par kuch wakt chahiye
Parakhne ko

Na din na raat
rukti hain ye daud
kabhi yaahan , kabhi waahan
bhagati hain har pal
Par kuch wakt chahiye
Badalne ko

Doosro ke saath is daud main
pyaar, dosti, gum aur dushmani
Banwati hain yeh zindagi
tudwati hain yeh zindagi
Par kuch wakt chahiye
akele guzaarne ko

Is daud bhag main
kab manzil aa gayi
pata hi na chala
shyam kab chaayi
pata bhi na chala
Sab dekh liya, sun liya
badal gaye, sambhal gaye
Samajh gaye, parakh gaye
Par kuch wakt chahiye ab
khud jeene ko.

Will you dance with me tonight

Long have a I wondered
how would it be like
to have asked you in the moonlight
Will you dance with me tonight?

Amidst the trees, under the moon
With gentle breeze lifting the mood
Ensconced by roses, beholding a sight
will you dance with me tonight?

A gentle bow, a pleading wish
An impish laugh and glittering eyes
Pair of doves taking flight
will you dance with me tonight?

A gloved hand, offered ahead
A gentle palm, wrapped around
bowed legs, straightening up
impish laugh turn trembling lips
we begin to dance tonight

silent words in our heads
movements saying all instead
glowing face, smiling eyes
weaving stories with delight
Is how we danced, tonight

Aao, phir kare baat

Ae dil

Tu itna nazuk kyun hain

sakht vachan dilata

Aina ban yaad karata

Aur ek pyar ki nazar se

Sheeshe ki tarah toot bhi jata

Gair is baat ka nahi

Ki galat koi nahi tha

Magar yeh alfaz

Aur yeh muhobbat

Apne hi andhar aise ghut gaye

Ki rag rom main hi mil chuke

Aur jisne yeh mohabbat jagayi

Who bhi khud main reh bani

Ab Inhe apne aap se hatana

namumkin sa ho gaya

Jane anjaane main

Yeh pyaar ab nikal aata hain

Aur phir uski yaad dilata hain

Humne bhi ab jeena seekh liya

Aise ishq ke saath

Gaur karte hain ab hum

Pyaar hi to kiya tha

Aur, phir kare baat

Que sera sera.....

I am torn. Torn right down the middle of my conscience. Two halves fighting for dominance much like the devil and the angel on either shoulder. 

One wants to take an easy path out and live the life as it was, a bit open, a bit suppressed, a bit happy, a bit sad. Things go back to normal and I die a little more inside everyday. It's the easy path. Turning a blind eye to many things at home and outside, procrastinating decisions and issues for a later date hoping it will go away by itself and that I wont have to deal with it myself. Perhaps the hope that things would work out for the good if only given more time and a bit more delay. Distracting myself by this and that, the whimsical phantasies to alleviate the deep void inside. Putting on a smile because I am expected to. Not showing sorrow or pain, because I am expected to. Socialising and attending family functions, because I am expected to. All the while putting on the facade of a happy guy. Travelling, baking, sleeping, movies, binge watching on shows... anything.... just to not be able to think of things I do not want to tackle right now. Maybe it's my weakness, maybe it's how it is.... maybe.... it's normal. 

And the other half screaming out, take a stand. Do what you believe in, even if it is not the popular decision. Accept the repercussions of the same. To go against all that has been expected from me till now. Against the aspirations other people created for me. Forge my own path. And do it with the thought that you are doing what you believe is right. It may not be the easy way out. It may not be as stable. It may not pan out as you expected it. But it was your decision. You can sleep peacefully at night knowing you took a stand. Knowing you chose your own path and not the one laid down for you. Knowing that things would get ugly before it gets better (if ever). To be my own boss.

It's a decision that needs to be made. And made now. Yet I am in the doldrums. No winds of courages to push me one way or the other. This unending limbo driving me crazy with no deliverance in sight. The cowardice to chose the easy path and the courage to forge the new one equally balanced.... or equally missing. What is the right path? The right decision? Is there a right decision or only a decision?

Que sera sera.....what will be, will be. 

Souls Cry

There is an emptiness inside me
filled with a silent scream
A void pulling it all in
my life and my dream

The voice inside
screaming out
its angst and
its plea

Expectations are too many
Not all of them mine
Not enough time for all
Nor enough to feel alive

Bowed down by our cross
Nailed up by the societal walls
Dreams bleeding out of us
Seeped into treacherous mud

The soul within
screaming loud
Let me out
Let me out